I mean really happy? Do you know what happiness is? Or will you be happy when……..? Happiness is an amazing phenomena and often seen as ‘relative’. That is to say, relevant to the person, occasion or object of desire. Or is it? Is it a feeling, an emotion, a state of mind? What is it, exactly? These questions will be addressed along with many more as we explore the concept of happiness.
Happiness is defined in the Oxford English dictionary as a feeling or expression of joy. It is also described in several other dictionaries as a state of mind or feeling characterised by contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. Various approaches such as philosophy, psychology, biology and religion have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. So, what is happiness and where does it come from?
Babies for instance have no past, (except for the time they have spent in the womb), and as far as we aware have no real notion of the future. Babies when they exhibit signs of contentment or joy are doing so at a specific moment in time – the now. Children when they are playing do so in the ‘now’. They are happy or sad in the moment of ‘now’. As adults because we have built up a past we often have memories of happy ‘things’ or ‘events’. As adults when we talk about pleasurable moments in our past we often use phrases such as “he used to make me so happy”; or “I was so happy then”; and “happiness is short lived”. We use the future to look forward to happiness saying things like, “I won’t be happy until John gets his promotion”; or “when I lose three stones I will be happy”; or, the “happiest day of my life will be….”
One of the reasons we cannot ‘find’ happiness is because we live in a fast ever changing world wanting everything ‘now’. We live in an egotistical world and selfishly pursue happiness, a pursuit that is fuelled by impatience, anger, greed and even violence. Everything we want to make us happy is out there it is outside ourselves; out there in the world, therefore it is the world ‘that makes us happy’. Or is it?
One of the reasons we are always searching for happiness is because in this ‘now’ world in which we live we have forgotten how to ‘experience the now’. By not experiencing the ‘now’ how can we experience happiness? By believing that it is the world that makes you happy, you are leaving yourself wide open to disenchantment, disillusionment, failure and frustration. Why? Because, by refusing to see or believe in your inner potential (yourself) that happiness is available now, you will not see it in the world.
This is best explained by the following story from the Zen tradition about a young, enthusiastic student speaking with his Zen Master who is especially noted for his continual grace and happiness:
“ Master, I dream of an everlasting happiness. What is the highest wisdom you can teach me?” asked the student.
The master smiled. He took his brush and wrote as if for the first time, “Attention”.
“Wonderful,” said the student, “And what comes next after attention?” he asked.
The master smiled. He took his brush and wrote as if for the first time, “Attention. Attention”.
“Yes,” nodded the student, perplexed, “Anything more?” he asked.
The Master smiled. He took his brush and wrote, as if for the first time, “Attention. Attention. Attention.”
“Okay, so what does ‘attention’ mean?” asked the student.
The Master spoke, “Attention means attention”.
“Is that all?” said the student, somewhat dispirited.
“Attention is all,” said the Master. “Without attention, happiness is nowhere; with attention, happiness is now here. Attention is freedom from all. Attention offers all.”
The Zen school of wisdom and spirituality teaches you that now is the most abundant time in your life. Indeed, the bibles of the world and any spiritual text all have the same opinion that ‘now’ is an everlasting treasure chest filled with never-ending and everlasting gifts of happiness, love, peace, and joy freely available for all.
The journey to true happiness can thus be described not as a journey of physical time and distance but as a journey of personal re-discovery or recovery, in that, it is the self-realisation whilst living in this fast ever-changing world that, it is only by reconnecting and having faith with our inner self, that all that we seek is found. Only then, by looking within, can we find happiness. One moment it is nowhere, and the next it is now here.
Happiness then it could be argued is not something to be ‘arrived at’ it is something which is within you and is therefore with you at all times. It is not a destination but rather a mode of travel. Should you choose to see or experience it that is.
Happiness then is a choice, it is not in things. It is a decision only you can make. It is an attitude. Happiness is not something external that travels to and from you it is a potential that you always carry with you. Happiness then is only a thought away. A thought, within your inner, or, unconditioned self. It is who you really are.
Your conditioned self on the other hand is the you that has been ‘conditioned’ by your parents, friends, school (teachers), in fact everybody else you have ever met and including yourself. It is your ego. It is the fearful you, the critical you, your lower self etc, you get the picture. The conditioned self is also the denier of happiness, your inner happiness. And ultimately only you can change that. Change your thought and you change your state of mind, your frame of reference.
Happiness therefore, is up to you.
If you are struggling with being happy in your life right now, and feel your conditioned self is taking over your happiness, please do not hesitate to contact me; either by email at info@drewryder.com or by calling +44 (0)207 0784871 to arrange a FREE 30 minute discovery session to see how we can enable you to embark on your journey of happiness.
Author Bio
Drew Ryder
Personal Wellness Practitioner and Transformational Coach.
Experienced and qualified in an eclectic mix of therapies all designed to help and improve the lifestyle of others, I have two passions in life – one is food and the other is to enable others to be the best that they can be. I use a variety of therapies and techniques, one of which often works where conventional methods fail, to enable people to release their pain – physical or emotional.
I am the catalyst that enables my clients to transform their own lives. I do this by providing a safe, relaxing, protective environment and aim to inspire, motivate and gently encourage them to move forward with their intentions. I draw on my vast experience of working with countless individuals, intuition and humour and an eclectic mix of psychological and energy techniques.
I am passionate about a particular technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique); EFT works on just about anything. From physical pain to emotional strain, EFT produces amazing results.
I work with individuals and groups either face to face or online.
Working online and using the latest technology enables me to help people from all over the globe. This is borne out by some of the Success Stories on my website.
People often ask me what I do for a living and I have always found this hard to explain. I guess for now I will have to go with the phrase; “I am a life changer. I help people to positively change their lives and release their pain. This enables people to move forward with their lives, to be the best that they can be and, to live their best life.”
I remain dedicated to continual growth and self-development in order to meet the demands of an ever-changing world and the needs of my personal clients.
How can I help you?